Changes In My Life By George, Part 1

This is a post that I have had on my heart for quite a while, but knew that I needed ample time to think and write, in order to express all that I need to say.  I wanted to pick a day that was a more 'normal' day, and that my emotions were not running wild from one extreme to another.  If I chose a day that I felt concerned or sad, my post would reflect that.  If I posted on a day that I'm on cloud nine, it would end up a 'Pollyanna' post.  So, I am choosing this day to write what is on my heart.  I have the house to myself, I have no place to be until later today, and my mood is pretty evened out this morning.  (Yes, I over-analyze!)

This year, 2011, I believe,  will stand out in my mind for as long as I have breath in my body.  You know, we have those years and times in our lives that just seem to forever feel so current and real to us.  There are some years that I barely even remember, but, then, there are a few years, I can tell you exactly what was happening, who was there, what we were wearing, and I can even recall the smell or feeling of that particular time.  For instance, I was only 4 1/2 when my Pa-Pa Pounders passed away, but, I recall those few weeks before and the days during the visitation and funeral as if it happened yesterday.  It's almost as if I can close my eyes and be there once again.  One particular homecoming parade, Christmas party, ballgame at school, homework assignment, graduation, wedding day, the birth of my children, etc. fall into that category.  There are a few unpleasant times that I remember and if I dwelled on, would rip my heart out just as it did at the time, but, I choose not to think on those as much. 

The main CHANGES in my life by George in 2011 include the following:

1.  Our Home school Journey comes to an end.

2.  My Mother's health declines drastically.

3.  My Daddy retires.

4.  Both my children have full time jobs.

5.  The time to help my husband financially arrives.

6.  I become a working woman outside our home.

If you have visited Life By George much at all, you know that I have home schooled our children for many years, and that my life has been centered around my husband for 26 years, and my children for 23 years.  Also, my parents are very important in my life.  I have been far from perfect in all of these areas, but, my heart has been in the right place, and I tried so hard to dedicate my life to God, Family, Home, Church, and Friends.  

I struggled from the beginning of Cale's senior year with feelings of sadness and uncertainty with the end of our journey of home schooling coming to an end.  I gave this example one day (after Cale's graduation):  'I feel like I am in a boat without an oar, just sitting there, going whichever way the wind blows my boat.'  Even though I had that feeling of wandering and of having no control, my heart and my mind still knew that God has been, is, and always will be in control, and that if I would just wait upon Him, all would be well.  Who needs an oar when you have the Master of the wind, right?  But, I am human, so, I struggled with some restless days and sleepless nights, and shed several tears crying out to God to guide me and direct my paths; to steer my boat, so to speak.

To help with expenses, during Cale's senior year in school, I had babysat one baby boy (from the time he was about 2 1/2 months old) full time and another baby boy part time. Needless to say, I fell head over heels in love with these little boys, and when circumstances changed with my Mother's health, my heart broke when I had to give the babies up.  I honestly mourned over the decision.  I didn't need to be so tied down that I couldn't jump in the van and leave at any given time of day.  Also, Scot and I had said for many years, that as soon as Cale graduated, I would get a good job, so I could help him with our expenses, and we could get some bills paid off, and not struggle as much financially.  Giving up those two little boys rocked my boat quite a bit. 

After I stopped babysitting, Mother's health continued to decline, so I didn't even look for another job right away.  We almost lost her in July.  She stayed in the hospital for several days.  After that, she was in rehab for a couple of weeks. In the meantime, my Daddy, who has worked almost all of his life retired, so he could be home with Mother and be her caregiver around the clock.  After Mother got home from rehab, she seemed to do some better for a few days, and then, she got worse.  She suffers from Post Polio Syndrome, which there is no cure for.  The pain is excruciating and constant.  We were very saddened when we were told that her wheel chair and scooter would have to become her best friends...we cried in the doctor's office.  Mother never walking again was a fact that broke our hearts and upset our world, but compared to the pain she has suffered, her not being able to walk has been minor.  Between having surgery on her knee and several tests, she has been put to sleep 5 or 6 times since the end of July.  When we rushed her to the hospital July 29th, they had to give her 4 units of blood.  She had all the symptoms of stomach or colon cancer.  They talked to us very frankly and we felt so hopeless.  We got the word out and got our friends and families praying,  and after doing a couple of tests on Mother that Monday and Tuesday, they told us she had a bleeding ulcer that had bled slowly, which is why she didn't realize she was losing blood.  We were so relieved that she didn't have cancer.  My Mother is the strongest woman I've ever met.  Polio affects your muscles, and the initial disease left her with a limp and weak muscles, but she has NEVER used that as an excuse to half way do anything!  She has always been a wonderful wife to my Daddy,  an outstanding Mother to me, a caring and loving Ma-Maw to my children, and a constant and faithful servant to others.  She was an immaculent housekeeper, a hardworking member of the PTA, a zealous and loud cheerleader in the Belmont Cardinal stands, a cook of large, delicious meals, and a comfort through phone calls, visits, and cards to many.  Even since she has been in such terrible pain, went for days without sleeping, etc., she is still so thoughtful and caring toward others.  One day, when I went back to her bedroom, she handed me a list.  The list had the names and dates of people that would have birthdays or anniversarys throughout the end of this year.  She wanted me to buy cards for each of those people.  The days that she can't write, if there is a special occasion coming up, she has me to sign and address the card for her.  Would I be that thoughtful toward others during such a time?  I truly hope so.  Mother is weak, and Mother is tired, but she continues to look forward to the day she gets her strength back and feels better.  Many tears have been shed and many prayers have been offered on her behalf, and as long as there is breath in her body, I know God can give her relief and renew her strength if it is His will to do so.  This has honestly been the most trying and the hardest time of my 46 years.  Daddy and I feel so helpless most days.  We do our best to meet her every need, but, after you give the pain meds, and she is still hurting so badly, there are times of frustration.  It hurts our hearts to see her in such pain and so uncomfortable.  My Daddy has been amazing!  The nights he gets to sleep, he checks on her and gives her meds to her right on time.  He keeps the housework and laundry going and their yard is always neat as a pen.  I don't know what lies ahead for us, but, I can't help but praise the Lord for His constant care, His peace when all seems chaotic, His grace always being sufficient, and His love always being unconditional.  The Joy of the Lord has been our strength.

Time Is Drawing Nigh...

Yesterday, April Fools Day, Cale and I searched through numerous picture albums for THE ten pictures we wanted to use for the slide show that will be shown on his Graduation night.  By the way, yesterday was the DEADLINE to turn them in.  I am so not like I used to be.  Procrastination used to be an ugly word to me, but, procrastinate is what I have done this time.  Honestly, I dreaded it terribly.  Graduation invitations is another job I have put off.  I know putting all of this off does not prolong May 6, 2011 getting here, but, it does prolong the tears that I know will drip down my face, and the feelings that go with it.  So, yesterday, Cale and I sat in the library floor going through EVERY album I have filled since he was born.  (Many, many pictures!)  I wanted him to be happy with the choices, so I didn't give my opinion on any of them, other than, oohing and awing over them, and reminiscing over ALL of them...and YES, tears running from my eyes faster than I could wipe them.  Poor Cale!  All we needed were 10 (TEN) pictures...JUST 10.  After hours of deliberation, eye wiping, nose blowing, etc., we made our choices.  Finally, last night, after supper, Noelle helped us get the pictures scanned and emailed before the deadline ended.   I have done a bit of soul-searching today...my mind and heart were way too exhausted last night to think about it any longer; but this morning, I have questioned myself as to the reason I am so emotional over Cale's graduation.   You see, ALL I have thought about, ALL I have done, ALL I have put my being into, for 23 years now, feels like is coming to an end.  ALL I've dreamed of has been being a wife and mother, and now, a part of that is changing.  I know, I know...I am still a wife and mother, my children will still need me, I have plenty to do...I KNOW ALL OF THAT!  But, this is a time of change.  My children have been home with me almost all of the time.  Noelle graduated in 2007, and she is still home, but, she works full time and takes computer classes, and even though, she still lives here, it's just not the same as when she was in school.  It's still good though!  Now, Cale, who represents the end of my homeschooling journey, is graduating in 5 weeks.  It's a beginning for him, but, feels like an ending for me.  I will have to retrain my brain how to think, my heart, how to feel, and my schedule, of what to do.  Cale is not sure about his plans yet.  One idea he has, he would have to move.  The other idea he has, he would still live at home.  Am I praying for the latter?  I can honestly say, NO.  Nor, am I praying for the first.  I am, with all my heart, soul, and mind, praying that God will open doors for Cale, that no man can close; and He will close doors for Cale, that no man can open.  In other words, I want God's perfect, divine will for my son. 

Back to yesterday...I cried because of how quickly it seems time has passed since my children were little, changes are coming, and I will miss what I've known; what I've grown accustomed to for the past 23 years.   I wasn't really crying because of Cale graduating.  I am truly thankful that his mind has been bright, his health has been good, and that God provided and saw fit that I could pour my life into my family all of these years.  I am thankful that I've been blessed with such a hard-working, loving, and kind husband, who adores me and his children, and who has made sure our home has been full and over-flowing with love, joy, and consistency.  I am thankful that my children, thus far, have been faithful to God, and have sought His approval on their daily lives through obedience and hard work.  I'm just thankful.   There will more than likely definitely be more tears fall from my eyes, but, through soul searching this morning, I know I am not losing anything.  I may not have to plan for next school year, and I may not have children in my home every day, but, my heart and my mind cannot even contain the memories, the abundance of love and joy that comes from raising my two blessings.  My role changes a bit, but, just as I have adjusted from babies to toddlers, to school age, teen-age, and all the other stages of their lives, I will come forth and arise to this change, with God's guidance and help.  I am so proud of my children, not because of popularity or ability, but because of their Godliness, kindness, faithfulness, and generosity, that is a life style to them, not just good mannerisms.  I feel like I am above all women, blessed.

I am sharing 3 of the 10 pictures Cale chose to use for his slide show.

The top picture is of him and Snick.

  Such a sweet-sweet smile in the above picture.

And guess what is around his mouth on the last picture...

Yep, ice-cream!

What I Know About Homeschooling, Part 3

As I said before, I only know about what we have tried and done in our homeschool through the years.  I am a huge fan of A Beka books.  I have all of the readers in our library.  I even enjoy looking at and reading the history and literature books.  But, as most homeschoolers do, we have tried other curriculums through the years.  We tried Alpha Omega and School of Tomorrow a couple of years.  I like the way they are more condensed, but we ended up going right back to A Beka.  That is what worked and works for us.  I make no bones about it, I had rather socialize in high school than be at home each night studying (like I should have been), so therefore, I didn't take the harder subjects that would have required me to study more.  I am not proud of that, but it is a fact in my life.  I panicked when Noelle was going into the ninth grade.  Algebra, Biology, and Chemistry scared the life out of me!  We even tried going back to the Christian school that year, but decided that there really is no place like home.  We ordered A Beka videos for her from then on and we had no more problems.   The videos are wonderful!   We have never had a 'school room'.   Noelle did her school in her room.  She had a TV and VCR in there and would watch the videos each day in the privacy of her own room.   Some days, I'd hear her laughing while watching a video, maybe the teacher said something funny that day.  The videos were just like being in a class room, except the teacher and students couldn't see or hear her.  We also like the idea of  being able to rewind if a second or third explanation were needed.

Cale began using DVDs in the eleventh grade.  He has a little set up in his room now where he does his school work.  The DVDs take alot of work off of the parent.  I do check his work and listen to him recite his Bible verses, but that's about it.  I get much more done during the day than I did when he was in first through tenth grade.  

That is what has worked for us through the years.   Just because we love A Beka does not mean that using a different curriculum is bad;  once again, find what works for you and your children. 

Now, I want to comment about the much heard S word!  SOCIALIZATION!   When we first began homeschooling, we knew that God was leading us in the endeavor, so I reckon we assumed that the whole world would be so happy for us!  NOT!  I would be so excited when someone ask about the children.  The first year or two of homeschooling can be very intimidating and a bit frightening to the parents.  I mean, we are talking our children's education here!  Questions come to our mind like: "What if I don't do it right?,  What if I fail my child?,  What if they grow up to be dumb as a box of rocks???"  And I am sorry to say that sometimes our friends and family can multiply those questions and make us question our calling.  Right after we began homeschooling, a dear lady asked if I was working or what; and when I told her (just beaming!) that I was at home teaching my children, she grabbed my arm and looked me straight in the face and said, "Oh Liesa!  What about when they get into the real world?  They won't know how to act.  You can't shelter them like that."  Needless to say, I was speechless for a few seconds.  Remember, I am a people pleaser.  I replied, "Well, as you know, we are not like most people anyway, and this is what we feel we should do."  That happened again the same year at the Christmas parade.  I could tell by the look on another dear ladies face and by the sound in her voice that she felt so sorry for my children.    Did those ladies reactions affect me?  You're mighty right, they did!  Tore me up!  I went home in tears questioning my ability to teach my children.  On one side of my mind, the pro side, I'd think:  I really feel like this is God's will for Noelle and Cale.  I want to raise Godly children...I want to raise my children myself...The con side of my brain would say, "Liesa, you don't know the first thing about algebra or chemistry.  Your children will be so dumb and it will be all your fault!"  Oh, how I'd struggle.  After much prayer and a good talk with Scot, I'd plant both feet back on the ground and go at my 'calling' more determined than ever.   You see, I came to the conclusion that Scot and I will answer for the way we raise our children.  We will answer to God, not to our friends and family.  And our friends and family won't answer to us for how they raise their children, so therefore, we have no other choice but to obey God in our home.   

I often kid around and say that if our children were any more sociable, we might as well sell our house and buy a motor home.   Through the years, our children have always been active in church activities, sports, and other past times.  Both children love babies, younger children, old people and all in between.  They are patient and kind, especially to younger children and older people.  Both are very considerate, mannerable, hard workers, very interested in other's, and believe it or not, both children have and practice alot of common sense at home and outside of the home.  Scot and I have many other children other than the two that are our own because we have always welcomed our children's friends into our home for wonderful times of fellowship. 

Here are some synonyms of Social:  genial, amusing, entertaining, companionable, pleasurable, civil, polite, polished, mannerly, pleasure seeking, hospitable, pleasant.     According to Webster, my children get an A+ in socialization! 

As for the education part of it; I do not keep up with grades in the way we did in school.  I check their work and ask questions to see if they 'get' it!  Did they understand?  Did they learn?  If not, I call for a 'do-over'.  Noelle and Cale try hard to understand their lessons and do their work correctly the first time, that way, it saves them time in the long run.  We kid around and say that they have a 'mean' teacher, but quite honestly, it's pretty simple.  The rules have been set before them many years ago, they know what we expect, the rules are the same each day, so therefore, we reap wonderful results each year. 

Noelle graduated in 2007.  She is now a full time certified teller at a very nice reputable bank.  She has been taking banking classes on line for the past two years and plans to continue doing so for as long as she can.  All of her co-workers seem to love her and enjoy working with her.  I hear alot of good remarks from many of her customers too.

Cale will graduate next Spring.  He is not sure what he will do after graduation.  I panicked when Noelle didn't know, but I am a bit more calm this time around.  I don't see Cale sitting inside behind a desk or anything, but I know he is a very hard worker and a determined young man who can accomplish anything he sets his mind at.  The most important thing I know is that God has his hand on Cale and Cale has a genuine desire to be in God's will and to be pleasing in His sight. 

I will comment a little about our schedule....I plan our school year according to what is going on in our lives.  For instance, most years, we would begin school the first week of August.  That gave us some extra 'play' days as we call it just in case something came up during the year we had to take off for.  Last year though, we were in the process of buying a house in August and was not for sure when we would be moving, so we didn't begin school until after Labor Day.  Yes, we were in school up until the first of June which had never happened before, but that is what worked for us during that time in our lives.    We do not have a set starting time each day.  Cale aims for 8 to 8:30.  We don't have a set time to do a particular subject.  He just works until he's finished with everything.  He works homework in his daily schedule which makes for free nights!

 
And the most popular question that has been asked, "Do you do school in your pj's?"  They didn't every day, but yes, it happens from time to time.  My children have never been allowed to sit around the house dirty and unkempt, so they know to be presentable and clean, but other than that, we are at home, and home is the most comfortable place to be! 

I know I have not covered everything about homeschooling, but I thought it would be neat to make a few points about what little I do know and about a few things that have worked for us during this wonderful journey and season of our lives.  Has every day been easy?  Goodness no!  Am I confident in what I've done?  No, I never have confidence in me, but I do have confidence in God.  And with that, I can say, All is well, and all will be well.

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.  And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.  And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.  And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.  ~Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

What I Know About Homeschooling, Part 2

As I said in Part 1 of What I Know About Homeschooling, all children are different.  I remember when I was in school: there were children in my class that seemed so carefree.  They just bee-bopped along all day, just happy to be there.  If the teacher raised her voice, it had no affect on them.  If they got in trouble for talking, it didn't seem to bother them; they'd quieten down for a while, but then they'd have to be reminded again.  And some of us, me in particular, wanted to curl up and die if the teacher had to correct us or scold us.  Some children seemed to catch on to reading and math the very first time it was explained, and others were still struggling after many lessons.  Does this all sound familiar?  That's the way it is in homeschool as well.  What it boils down to is EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.  Several children may be alike in some ways, but very different in others.  

Both of my children are tender hearted, which is a blessing when it comes to discipline.  Both desire to please their daddy and I.   The biggest difference in my children are their interests.  Noelle loves books.  She doesn't just have a love for reading, but the book itself is a respected 'thing' in her life.  To this day, she'll pick up a children's book and say, "Oh, this is such a pretty book."  She had a love for letters, sounds, and words even as a toddler.  Words fascinated her!  Had I given her a choice of a doll or a new book, nine times out of ten, she would have chosen the book.  I didn't force her to love books, it was just something inside her.

Cale loved for me to read to him.  I read to him from the time he was a baby just like I did Noelle, but one or two books a day satisfied him.  He'd hop down and build huge buildings with blocks or try to climb anything that looked climbable!  He'd much rather be outside playing in the dirt with his trucks and tractors, playing with his dog, riding his bike, or exploring.  When Cale started to school, he was a good student.  He wanted to please his teacher, but school and books just were not his favorite thing in life.  There just wasn't any passion whatsoever when it came to those things.  Did that make him a bad student?  No, not at all.  He knew what was expected of him and there was no choice in the matter, so he studied and did his best, but there still wasn't a passion for it.  Cale was not being rebellious in any way, it was just his make up. 

I had to use my imagination much more with Cale in school than I did Noelle.  I would look for books about things he enjoyed.  We read alot about baseball, farming, adventurous people, and animals.  I would read a page, he'd read a page.  At an early age, he began collecting baseball cards.  When I say he began, I don't mean just buying them and throwing them in a shoe box; he bought an album with card slits and organized his cards.  He'd sit for hours organizing his cards and reading them.  Awww, did you catch that?  He READ the cards.  He could tell us anything about the players.  So, we encouraged that hobby.  As he got older, he even thought of it in a business like manner.  He would look for cards that had great potential of being worth money someday.  He even made the remark one day that when he grew up, he could sell his cards to help pay for the log home he one day hoped to build.  

That is what you do to help the students who dislike reading and books:  you study your student.  You find what they like and help them pursue their interest.  You introduce books to them that pertain to the things they are interested in.  You do not have to buy the books.  The library is full of good books about different subjects that your child might like. 

Noelle likes fiction.  Cale likes non-fiction.  As he has gotten older, he chooses books about real people.  If he has a book report, he usually chooses a book about a missionary.   His daddy is like that.  I myself had rather read to escape the real world for a while, so I am more apt to pick up a fiction book.

Studying your child and accepting their uniqueness will make for a better homeschool experience.  This does not mean that you look over bad behavior or bad attitudes when it comes to that child's schooling.  Cale knows that his education is very important and he knows that there are days that he has to read about things that do not interest him.  There is always school work that he'd rather not have to sit and do, but through DAILY training through the years, he understands that life is like that.  Every day of our life is not full of things we enjoy and like, but God still expects our best.  Scot often gives the example of meals:  We love the cookies, cakes, and pies, but if that were all we ate each day, they wouldn't be as special, plus we'd get very fat!  We need the vegetables and fruits too.  They help us grow.  But, if we only ate vegetables and fruits every day, we'd get really bored and burned out, so we do need those sweets every now and then to add some excitement and fun to our lives!  That is the way it is with school and our jobs.  If all I did was laundry every single moment of every day, it would get old, very old!   There is a balance there....we just have to be willing to find it.   I guess my advise is to talk to your child.  Train your child according to God's Word.  Whatever our hand finds to do, we are to do it with all our might.  The Bible tells us to do it as unto the Lord.  Children are very sensible people.  Their understanding is much deeper than we sometimes give them credit for. 

I may have chased a few rabbits on this part of my Homeschool series of posts, but I pray it has helped in some small way. 

What I Know About Homeschooling, Part 1

Well, our first week of our last year of homeschooling went well.  It's hard to believe that the little boy who used to want me to sit next to him all day long is in his room working independently and is a senior in high school.   Time has flown.  I say that alot, don't I?   Moments make up and hour, hours make up a day, days make up a week, weeks make up months...Well, you get the picture!   Back to homeschooling...  I do not claim to be an expert in homeschooling; I am just a mother trying to follow the plan that Scot and I felt the Lord called us to follow.  I do deeply care about other children, but God has not called me to teach other children; I am responsible for mine.  I will stand before God and give an account for how I raised my daughter and my son. 

I do get asked questions about homeschooling from time to time, and the odd thing about it is last week, I was asked a question that the answer had already been on my heart to share here at Life By George, but just hadn't taken the time to post.  It was on my mind and in my heart, just not in writing. 

As you know, I have two children, one daughter, Noelle, who graduated from homeschool in 2007, and one son, Cale, who will graduate from homeschool in 2011.   My children are much alike in some areas, but NOT when it comes to school.   Before I elaborate, for the record, I did ask Cale last week if it was ok for me to publicly discuss this subject.  Two or three years ago, he may have said no, but my more mature and understanding senior immediately said that he was fine with me sharing this, in hopes that it would help other mothers.

I can't give you examples or any knowledge about homeschooling other than what I know from homeschooling my own children.  When asked questions about homeschooling multiple children, if it's more than two, I always send that person on to another mother who would know the answer, or if it's about a curriculum or homeschool 'style' that I have not used, I do the same, send them to someone with experience in that.   I rarely act like I know something that I don't....from experience, I know that I usually flop when I do that!     What I Know About Homeschooling will take more than one post due to time and me carefully thinking about each part before I post...

Now, for what I do know about homeschooling, Part 1.

1.  ALL children are different.

2.  What works for one child may or may not work for another child.

3.  Just because a subject comes easy for one, it may be Greek to another.

4.  We all have different learning styles.  For instance, I always dread when my Bible gets old and worn and have to break in a new one.  When looking for particular verses, I can almost tell you every time if the passage is on the left or right page of my Bible.  When spelling a word, I see that word in my mind, etc.  I listened closely to my teachers, but had I not taken notes, I would have made terrible grades.  I need to SEE things!    I am a Show me learner.

5.  DO NOT COMPARE CHILDREN!  Example:  "Your brother can do this, why can't you?"  They hear, "Your brother is smarter than you."

6.  Every day will NOT be a good day.

Note:  I will do my best to post Part 2 this week.

Happy schooling!  There is no place like home!